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Every since I was ten, my parents have been divorced and I am twenty now. In the past ten years, but particularly when I was younger, my father would vicioiusly attack me about her (please, I am not trying to feel sorry for myself or be to descriptive, but this’ll only make sense if I explain it) telling me mom was nothing but a s*** who enjoyed sleeping with every man she worked with, and if he could get away with it he’d kill her. To this day he still doesn’t speak to her, and also when I was younger if he found Mom had gone on a date (they live in a very small town and gossip spreads extremely fast) he would take his anger out on me, given the fact my sister worked as a waitress Mom and a couple of her dates had gone to the resturaunt she worked in and would tell my dad- and I would be so terrified of the upcoming words he would bestow upon me I would slightly shake. He’s better now, but still hates her. Just a couple of days ago I asked him for a ride to class because of bad weather, and he lanched into this whole lecture on how selfish I am for not going to see his mother, ect, ect, and I forget, but for some reason I brought up how at least one of his kids is getting more than an eighth grade education (my sister dropped out of school when she was younger) and then he exploded saying how I talk like my “Euro-trash arrogant relatives” (Mom and her family are originally from Portugal) and he often puts me down about my dream of one day being a clinical psychologist because “I don’t take stress well and freak out too much” and I’ won’t be good at it. But ironically, he’s the person who made me want to be a psychologist as I want to dedicate my life to helping others, particularly children with learning disabilities and with divorced parents so they won’t have to endure what I did with my dad. Thank you all for your time and what should I do about this?
My dad is so mean- what should I do?
May 15th, 2011 
admin 
Posted in children with learning disabilities
personally, i think you should attempt if your brave enough, to bring him to an anger management class. if not so, then try having a heart-to-heart conversation. hope i helped!
Do u live with him? move out! persue ur dream! go see ur mother! never talk 2 him again
tell him you will not tolerate his conduct towards you anymore, you are not a child you are an adult
move out
Your father is quite clearly taking it out on you, what he thinks your mother has done. Given his behaviour it is hardly surprising that your mother went off and sought happiness elsewhere. You are going to continue to be the butt of his anger and resentment for the rest of your ife and so you need to plan to become a psychologist (possibly more an educational psychologist?) by getting to university. You don’t say where you are now or what you are doing. I think that you need to motivate yourself to get qualified as soon as possible in order to get out of there as soon as possible. You do not deserve to be treated as the punchbag of your father’s resentment about your mother, you are an independent person who is not accountable for her perceived sins.
You need to try to formulate a plan on how to get to your goal. There is no reason you shouldn’t make it to being a psychologist. Is there any job you could pick up whilst studying (paid or voluntary) working with children with disabilities so that you can get lots of great experience en route to getting qualified? This would look great on your resume. If you are out of the house doing studies and a job, then you have less time in the house being the butt of all this aggression whilst building up a future for yourself. If possible, see if at the college concerned it is possible to move into shared accommodation with other students, if you can afford it.
It seems to me and you need to accept that he will never see any good in what you have achieved because you are your mother’s daughter. He will always see her in you. You need therefore to choose to be with people who will admire you for who you are, and value your skills with young children, and your intelligence and commitment. These things are always valued in people who are willing to give them, as you are, and so be in no doubt that you will be valued elsewhere even if not by your father. He has been tarnished and spoiled by this divorce forever. He will never be any good to another woman as he cannot let go of the past. It is therefore for you to build your future and leave him behind with his problems and obsessions. You cannot be expected to continue to pay for the problems of his marriage.